I don’t know about you, but I can get mentally and emotionally stagnant. Life goes on and I tend toward a sedentary existence where laziness leads me to the path of least resistance. I need a way to break out of the chains of habit. One thing I have started doing in recent years, is seeking out external influences to help me improve myself and get into a better frame of mind.
Jim Rohn said something like “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. When I first heard that it was paraphrased as “your salary is the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. While these statements aren’t entirely true (and I have no knowledge of Jim Rohn otherwise so don’t consider this an endorsement), it’s a good reminder that external forces make a major difference in how you perceive your life. In any event, since external influences have such an important effect on us, we should probably choose our top five external influences very deliberately and carefully. Here are four ways that I do this.
One: I actively find mentors, counselors, and friends. When I was younger, I used to think that friendships were things that just happened. If circumstances allowed, friendships formed. If circumstances didn’t allow, friendships fell apart or failed to materialize at all. I don’t remember exactly when it occurred to me that I’m responsible for proactively seeking and maintaining friendships.
The same is true for getting good advice. I need to actively seek mentors and counselors to give me advice on all aspects of my life. I might have different mentors or counselors for different areas but it’s my responsibility to engage them and seek out their help.
I heard a billionaire say on a YouTube video interview ” Surround yourself with smart people. I want to be the dumbest person in the room. If I’m the smartest person in the room, I leave.” That doesn’t mean you can’t hang out or be with influences that are less smart than you are but you should at least not be the dumbest.
Two: I listen to books, videos, and Podcasts by other people who are smarter than me, have more experience than me, and have different perspectives than me. Even if a content creator/author/writer ends up being not someone I follow in the long run, the knowledge I gain helps me connect with other people better. I expose my mind to more of what goes on around the globe beyond just those things that I have experience with. It broadens my understanding of life. I feel like I get to live in multiple realities at once where I can build a history of knowledge beyond my physical limitations.
Three: I read self-help material. This is different from other information content because it is focused solely on improving myself. The meta-cognitive value of self-assessment and self-improvement techniques is life-changing. I’m not the same person with the same perspective that I was before I read those books. I also ask coworkers and other successful people I know for self-help book recommendations.
Four: I deliberately use internet search or AI tools to find helpful information on how to fix bad habits that I have. If I realize that I have a routine thought pattern that leads me to bad habits, I will type my problem into AI and see what different writers have to offer to help me break bad habits or get new good ones. I can also query the internet and AI on a positive note about good habits or techniques that successful people use. The internet and AI will simply pull all of the articles together written by other folks who address the concern you have. AI will summarize it nicely while and internet search will require you to delve into articles. Either way, you can quickly get insight into ways to improve your life.
Hopefully that gives you some motivation to seek out your external influences rather than just accepting those that circumstance puts in our path. We have lots of virtual options to help augment what is lacking in our immediate physical environment. And I’ve found that the more I try to improve myself through virtual means, the better my immediate physical environment eventually becomes.